Shut Up And Kiss Me

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 18:51:14 GMT

[12]Booster Gold
[19]Ultimate Fantastic Four
[25]X-factor
[16]X-force
[26]X-men

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EVILLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:07:02 GMT

[17]Dazzler~
[13]Ultimate Fantastic Four
[19]LOIS LONDON AKA MORTIS
[8]Starjammers
[25]X-men
[14]X-babies

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Maximus is such a shit ♥

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 03:01:11 GMT

[15]Dazzler
[35]Inhumans
[58]X-men (New Mutants, X-factor, X-force..)

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Dazzler still tops everyone and this time LOIS LONDON AKA MORTIS topped with her

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:02:13 GMT

[24] Dazzler and LOIS LONDON AKA MORTIS
[51] X-mens
[13] X-babies
[50] Ultimate X-men

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WARREN'S THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 23:56:07 GMT

[11] Inhumans
[37] X-men

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Thu, 29 Oct 2009 02:10:42 GMT

[4] Dazzler
[99] New Mutants *SPOILERS*
[10] X-factor
[15] X-force

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Why does Dazzler get to be on top of everyone? BECAUSE SHE'S THE FUCKING QUEEN

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 23:12:15 GMT

[22]DAZZLER
[68]Everyone else (Angel, Kitty, Rachel, random, X-BABIES)

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Fri, 02 Oct 2009 22:32:45 GMT

Title: As Much As It Hurts, It’s Better If I Walk Away
Rating: PG13
Characters: Dazzler, Longshot
Fandom: Marvel hurp
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Alison knows it’s time to call it quits.
A/N: AJKHSDLHFJ HURGH this might be depressing

The days are bleak. Greys starting to mesh into her world that’s always bright with colour; dismal and dark, she’s unhappy. She feels like she’s fading and it doesn’t get easier. Light that surrounds her has been dulled. It becomes worse as time goes on and she cannot do anything to stop it. She wants and wants and wants to be filled with that bright happiness she knows they had long ago, but there’s nothing besides her own hands reaching to recapture what’s been lost. Ten fingers all along without the strange hands she wants to entwine with. Alison is the only one working at this, but she can’t blame him. No, no, no. He’s not to be blamed for something that isn’t their fault. Their marriage, their love; it’s been wilted. Mojo had done horrible things, but now they can fix it. Alison always recovers and Longshot can live through anything. They’ll make it, this she has to believe. They’ll make it. They’ll make it. They’ll make it.

She will do her best.

But these thoughts, as optimistic as they may be, are far from reality. Alison wants and tries but he gives nothing back. An empty smile, a shallow laugh; he’s not at all who he used to be. The lack of memories has changed him, and she doesn’t know if she can bear this anymore. She sticks through it, though. When she had no memories, he stuck with her as they returned. He loved her despite her fractured mind and Alison has to do the same for him. She has to hold his hand and lead him around, showing him what’s been lost and reminding him of what he’s forgotten. She takes hold of him and kisses his lips. She touches his flesh with hers, trying so very hard to make it like how it was. He remembered the important things, he had said, but Alison doesn’t know if it’s enough.

She has to stick through it. She can’t leave him. She can’t.

At night when he sleeps, she keeps her eyes open and remembers the day she lost him. It’s never the good times they’ve had, but only the bad ones that bounce back into her head. Alison recalls when he was torn from her, when she felt the rip from her heart. The tears that only spilled over and over again; never stopping. Her hands tried to fix it, tried to take away the ever flowing water, but nothing worked. Her eyes would dry only to become wet once more. One mission with the X-men and she couldn’t bear to go back to Mojoworld. He was dead, she had convinced herself. And when she was back on Earth again, she had nothing left. He was gone and Alison was left with nothing but a singsong voice and songs that meant nothing to her. There was no single she could sing that could fully express the heartbreak she felt. She plastered on a facade, trying to hide all the pain she felt from losing him. She sang songs she didn’t feel anymore; only caring about the fact she could do so again. Her words were packed with nothing, but all that mattered was the singing. She could fake it. As long as she still had one little thing in her life, she could pretend to be happy the rest of the time.

No one knew her well enough to see through her mask. Friendships she had made in the past were not that strong and no one was at her side but old fans and grumpy managers. Alison was alone and after awhile, she had decided she didn’t want to be any other way. She lost everything no matter what she did and it was best if she didn’t gain the more valuable things in life. If she stayed by herself, she couldn’t feel anymore of this. She wouldn’t have to lose anyone like that again.

But then she hooked up with Excalibur and Longshot leapt right back into her life.

God, Longshot. She should be happier to have him back in her life, but she’s not. There are little things she missed, yes. She missed having his hands on hers and those beautiful eyes staring back at her. She missed his movements and his unusual way of talking. She missed the way he handles situations and that naive way he looks at all sorts of objects and people. All these reasons she fell in love with him are still there, but it’s changed. He’s naive, just as he was when she first met him. The people he talks with are usually women and it’s frustrating. She knows it’s stupid to be jealous and upset over it, but she can’t help it. Alison is trying her hardest to work at this, but he’s not giving her anything back. He’s just hopping around as good old Longshot, not even realizing that anything’s wrong. She’s not happy, but he can’t see that. He really is lucky, Alison supposes, because he’ll never know what she’s feeling. He’s guarded from that, guarded from all these insecurities. Alison can’t be mad at him for it, because it’s who he is; he doesn’t know any better. He’s only a warrior and there’s only so much she can ask for him. This makes her realize he was never truly hers. He belongs to the rebellion, to the Cadre. To Mojoworld.

Maybe she used to be stronger; it’s hard to tell anymore.

They’re on the street when all her emotions finally spill over. Alison had brought him to a movie only to have a girl throw herself at him. As usual, Longshot didn’t bat her off, only smile happily and talk with her. She flirts, and he chats right back with her. Alison watches with folded arms, a tinge of jealousy and an overflow of frustration. She can’t take this anymore; he’s not even trying. It’s too hard. How on earth can she give him her everything when he just stands there with his hands on the shoulders of another woman. A smile directed not at her, a promise of heroics and all sorts of good things. It’s then Alison sees that yes, Longshot is still the same, but it’s not a good thing. He is just like he was when they first met, not at all the man he eventually shaped back to be. She doesn’t hate him for it, but she still speaks. Alison cannot control it anymore; she’s fuming.

“You’re such a slut!” The words leave her mouth in a shout and she finds herself storming away. Alison tries to convince herself he doesn’t know any better, but she’s not listening to reason right now. She’s jealous and she’s angry and she wants him to actually give something to this. She’s trying her best, but he’s just so blank about it. Why does---why does he always have to be so LONGSHOT about everything?! These questions have answers, but Alison is ignoring them right now. She’s too furious.

“Ali! Ali, what’s wrong?” Longshot finally catches up with her and meets her with nothing but confusion. He flips right over her to stop her, holding his hands out sternly and practically demanding she stay still. “What is a slut?”

Two simple questions and Alison already wants to rip her hair out. She makes two fists and holds them at the sides of her face, shutting her eyes as she doesn’t want to look at him right now. Longshot was always such a beautiful gift to gaze upon. But right now? Right now it hurts. And she isn’t sure if the wound is greater because of his innocent words, or because he keeps hurting her and not understanding why. Even with his memories he would never be able to get it. He can’t understand because they are far too different to begin. Longshot is a warrior and Alison is a singer. He can’t change and the last time she did, she wound up losing everything. She couldn’t give that stuff up again, especially not singing. She already had no one else to really be with and maybe she was a little bitter over these things. None of it Longshot’s fault, but mostly hers for making choices she decided with her heart and not her brains. Alison always followed her heart, but sometimes it wasn’t the right thing to do. Some things deserved more thought.

“I can’t do this anymore.” She whispers. “I can’t---I can’t.”

She takes off across the street, leaving Longshot alone and confused. Alison knows she’ll need to give him a better explanation. And she will when her emotions aren’t in the driver’s seat. Right now it’s just tears wanting to spill over and her wanting to beat off all these stupid women with a blast of light. It wouldn’t do anything but make things worse, but Alison feels so powerless. God, how she’s trying to make it how it was but she’s failing. She doesn’t want to let go of him but there’s no way they can keep at this. It makes her feel horrible, knowing how he was there for her. Yet, when he’s without memories she simply goes to pieces over it. She cannot help him in the same way because he’s much too Longshot for it to be successful. Maybe she’s selfish, but she needs to be happy too.

Alison needs to feel the light.

She goes straight to her flat. It’s dark and she doesn’t even care enough to brighten it up. She has her powers but she’s not feeling anything. Alison sobs a little because she knows how this night is going to end. She’s been trying her hardest to make it not come to this, but her efforts are pointless. She cannot avoid it. She cannot keep doing this because it’s unfair to the both of them. She doesn’t want to hurt him, but all he ever does is hurt her. This is no way to live, despite how it felt to end it. Alison loves Longshot with all her heart and soul, but she cannot be with him anymore. She knows he loves her too, but this? This is not a healthy marriage. This isn’t a happy relationship. He has no idea and she is clutching at her sanity to make sure she doesn’t break down and cry. No one is winning.

He’ll wind up back in Mojoworld again, and Alison will not be able to go with him. Just the very thought makes her realize she has to end this even more so. She cannot lose him like that again, but with Mojo around, she knows she will. Mojo never stops and he always wins no matter what is done. Shatterstar may be destined to kill him, but it’s not soon enough. Will it even last? Alison doesn’t have the strength to be in a war again. She cannot be thrown about and captured and fighting until she’s so tired she can barely stand. She cannot give up singing again because it is the only thing in her life that has never died, left or let her down. A destiny full of loneliness just might be worth it if she gets to sing.

She needs to be happy too. Alison cannot keep trying to hold onto this relationship that has been long dead. Her life with Longshot is nothing more than a memory and the present is just something of a fantasy. She’d like to stay with him, but she knows she cannot. This isn’t going to work. Since he came back, she’s been trapped inside a dream long gone and she cannot sleep on it anymore. She cannot ignore what he is making her feel. She’s losing herself again, a price too high. Alison has spent a long time trying to keep herself together, build up when she lost everything. The task is too difficult and tiring to repeat ever again.

The door opens and she looks up to see him. He looks sad and unknowing, something that breaks her heart. It’s for the best. It’s for the best. It’s for the best. "Ali?"

“Longshot, we need to talk.”

It’s almost funny. It took her losing him to realize she never had him in the first place.

Can you tell I missed photoshop

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 20:54:27 GMT

[16]Dazzler
[36]X-men
[9]X-babies
[12]X-factor

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omg it's been forever

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:54:39 GMT

[15]Excalibur (Rachel, Meggan, Meggan/Brian, Spiral)
[26]New Mutants (Cannonball, Dani, Karma, various group shots, Sunspot)
[49]X-men (Angel, Dazzler, Domino, Jean, Rachel)

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Sat, 18 Jul 2009 20:03:50 GMT

[45]New Mutants
[15]X-factor

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Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:21:55 GMT

RP icons. Take if you want whatevs.

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 01:46:48 GMT

Wolverine and the X-men
[10]Lorna
Comics
[15]Angel
[1]Beast
[12]Cannonball
[4]Dazzler
[14]Domino
[4]Jubille
[5]Mojo
[4]Polaris
[1]Psylocke
[9]Siryn
[12]Sunspot

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Thu, 25 Jun 2009 00:10:53 GMT

18 Rictor and Shatterstar icons. SPOILERS FOR X-FACTOR.

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Thu, 18 Jun 2009 22:54:39 GMT

50 Domino and Cable icons because hhhhh marvel

50 Domino and Cable Icons

001 : Alone	002 : Desire	003 : Playful	004 : The End	005 : Dreams

006 : Time	007 : Dark	008 : Choices	009 : Light	010 : Sadness/Tears

011 : Battle	012 : Friendship	013 : Snarky	014 : All That I Am	015 : Land

016 : So Far Apart	017 : Goodbye	018 : Shades of Grey	019 : Hope	020 : Normal

021 : Beautiful	022 : Lost	023 : Despair	024 : Magical	025 : Naughty

026 : Eyes	027 : Big	028 : Seasons/Seasonal	029 : Funny	030 : Small

031 : Command	032 : Love	033 : Excited	034 : Fire	035 : Rage

036 : Touch	037 : Belief	038 : Loss	039 : Side by Side	040 : Questions

041 : Danger	042 : Pain	043 : Wtf?!	044 : Fantasy	045 : Trouble

046 : Power	047 : Team Work	048 : Regret	049 : Hate	050 : Temptation

I bring you hideous icons

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 16:26:11 GMT

[1]Archangel
[14]Cable
[9]Cannonball
[8]Domino
[3]Karma
[1]Magik
[8]Mojo
[2]Moonstar
[4]Siryn
[2]Spiral
[8]Sunspot (Some with Cannonball)

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I really like that cover of Cable 14. Ffff.

Fri, 08 May 2009 00:25:43 GMT

[42]New Mutants (Boom-Boom, Cannonball, Karma, Magik, Magma and Sunspot)
[4]Domino-Cable-Deadpool

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Thu, 02 Apr 2009 17:33:06 GMT

50 X-force Ladies.

Just posting the table arrrgh life what evenrebjkfdg

50 X-force Chicks

001 : Alone	002 : Desire	003 : Playful	004 : The End	005 : Dreams

006 : Time	007 : Dark	008 : Choices	009 : Light	010 : Sadness/Tears

011 : Battle	012 : Friendship	013 : Snarky	014 : All That I Am	015 : Land

016 : So Far Apart	017 : Goodbye	018 : Shades of Grey	019 : Hope	020 : Normal

021 : Beautiful	022 : Lost	023 : Despair	024 : Magical	025 : Naughty

026 : Eyes	027 : Big	028 : Seasons/Seasonal	029 : Funny	030 : Small

031 : Command	032 : Love	033 : Excited	034 : Fire	035 : Rage

036 : Touch	037 : Belief	038 : Loss	039 : Side by Side	040 : Questions

041 : Danger	042 : Pain	043 : Wtf?!	044 : Fantasy	045 : Trouble

046 : Power	047 : Team Work	048 : Regret	049 : Hate	050 : Temptation

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 20:30:03 GMT

[14]Inhumans (some for request of liquiddust
[4] Wanda and Pietro
[74]X-verse peeps

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Fri, 06 Mar 2009 09:30:40 GMT

[12]Wolverine and The X-men
[44]Inhumans
[6]Starjammers
[46]X-men
[14]Repo: The Generic Opera

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Sat, 21 Feb 2009 02:32:07 GMT

Comic
12 Inhumans [Medusa and Blackbolt]
4 New Warriors [Firestar]
22 X-men [Blink, Cannonball, Domino, Jean/Scott, Layla Miller, Polaris, Shatterstar]

Cartoon
20 Wolverine and the X-men [Domino, Polaris, Scarlet Witch, Mojo]
8 X-men Evolution [Quicksilver]

Preview:

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Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:30:50 GMT

[12] Cloak and Dagger
[10] Runaways
[26] X-men/X-force/X-factor

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Sat, 24 Jan 2009 04:47:51 GMT

[1]Angel
[7]Domino
[6]Hepzibah (some with Corsair)
[5]Jean Grey (one with Scott)
[10]Meggan (some with Brian)
[7]Shatterstar

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Sun, 04 Jan 2009 04:54:52 GMT

[30]Power Rangers
[20]Queer as Folk
[34]X-men/X-force

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Thu, 01 Jan 2009 00:46:40 GMT

My profile was getting too clunky for these, so I'm putting them all here.

Icon Awards

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1	2	3	4	5	6
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55	56	57	58	59	60
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67	68	69	70	71	72
73	74	75	76	77	78
79	80	81	82	83	84
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91	92	93	94	95	96
97	98	99	100	101	102
103	104	105	106	107	108
109	110	111	112	113	114
115	116	117	118	119	120
121	122	123	124	125	126
127	128	129	130	131	132
133	134	135	136	137	138

1	2	3	4	5	6

7	8	9	10	11	12

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31	32	33	34	35	36

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1	2	3	4	5	6

7	8	9	10	11	12

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19	20	21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28	29	30

31	32	33	34	35	36

37	38	39	40	41	42

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49	50	51	52	53	54

55	56	57	58	59	60

61	62	63	64	65	66

67	68	69	70	71	72

73	74	75	76	77	78

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91	92	93	94	95	96

97	98	99	100	101	102

103	104	105	106	107	108

109	110	111	112	113	114

115	116	117	118	119	120

121	122	123	124	125	126

1	2	3	4	5	6

7	8	9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16	17	18

19	20	21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28	29	30

31	32	33	34	35	36

37	38	39	40	41	42

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55	56	57	58	59	60

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67	68	69	70	71	72

73	74	75	76	77	78

79	80	81	82	83	84

85	86	87	88	89	90

1	2	3	4	5	6

7	8	9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16	17	18

19	20	21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28	29	30

31	32	33	34	35	36

37	38	39	40	41	42

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55	56	57	58	59	60

61	62	63	64	65	66

67	68	69	70	71	72

1	2	3	4	5	6

7	8	9	10	11	12

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19	20	21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28	29	30

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61	62	63	64	65	66

67	68	69	70	71	72

73	74	75	76	77	78

79	80	81	82	83	84

85	86	87	88	89	90

1	2	3	4	5	6

7	8	9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16	17	18

19	20	21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28	29	30

31	32	33	34	35	36

37	38	39	40	41	42

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